how did your low self esteem about weight and looks come about? look in the mirror, how are you ever happy the way you are? what is flooding your head and messing your way of looking at yourself or others the same way you did before? the last thing i can do is to be a part of this web of insecurities and comparison and competition of self with God.beating ourselves, punishing ourselves, reprimanding ourselves, demanding ourselves, controlling ourselves, calling ourselves names, guilt tripping ourselves, judging ourselves. does consolation help? does saying it out loud helps? does someone disvalidating our thoughts help? does someone telling us to stop help? if not, then what are we trying to achieve anyway. because you cant let it go. its in the head and out through the mouth, into someone's ear and into someone's head, going on and on like an endless string of cacophany. tortured haunting piece of mental illness, captive of all thoughts, driving behavior and habits, pushing to the brink, killing time and joy and relationships, changing identity, losing self. i wish i can be more morbid to make this sound worse than death because it is.
Posted at 05:19 am by mickyfoo